Why Yo Gabba Gabba Makes Me Want To Install Padded Walls

When I was a kid, Sesame Street was the show du jour. There were large and small stuffed animals, cartoons, and all sorts of sketchy characters teaching us letters and numbers. Of course, as the years marched on (and Sesame Street was renamed Avenue Q), shows devolved into the meaningless slop that we have today.

Enter Yo Gabba Gabba…

Yo Gabba Gabba is hosted by a character named DJ Lance. The first time that I saw DJ Lance, I honestly thought they kicked Barack Obama out of office, and this was his next gig. The introduction has DJ Lance carrying a boom box (what else?) which contains five dolls that ‘come to life’:

Muno – Muno is the red character with the giant eye and eczema. There was an episode where they were talking about differences, and Muno needed glasses.I laughed my ass off when Plex (the robot character) came out with a ‘glass’ for muno. Evidently, that giant f’in eye couldn’t do the job on its own.

Seriously? ROFL!

Foofa – Foofa is the hippie of the bunch. She’s the pink, pear-shaped broad that really doesn’t care about anything except for growing flowers and being soft-spoken. You could probably trample her garden, and she wouldn’t give a crap.

Toodee – Toodee is a tomboy. Personally, I think she has a thing for Foofa, kind of like a Bert and Ernie situation.

Brobee – Brobee is a short, green monster with three orange horns and an eastern european accent. His arms tend to bend and contort in ways that will leave your child asking all sorts of questions about anatomy and physics (I suppose that’s good, right?). He’s pretty much the outcast of the group.

Plex – Plex is the yellow robot that you want to douse in water and watch him rust. He’s a smart ass and a showoff, as he can beam characters in and out of Gabbaland with his mobile Wi-Fi hotspot on the top of his tin head. He’s even got a Bose system build into his chest. Wait.. maybe Plex is cool…

Anyhow, the coup de grace of today’s children’s television genre came at the moment that they invited Biz Markie to do a segment on each episode called Biz’s Beat of the Day. ..

Holy. Shit.

How the hell am I supposed to explain to my child what is happening on the television screen when Biz’s Beat of the Day comes on? I suppose I could tie it into some sort of ‘Don’t Do Drugs!’ message. Or, perhaps I could put a medical spin on it:

“Son, this is what it looks like when you are having a stroke. Strokes occur when .. blah blah, etc. etc.”

Comment Time: What children’s TV show do you absolutely despise and why?

6 comments
  1. My boys don’t watch YGG, but I can say with absolute certainty that Bey Blades and Spider Riders are both much more annoying than it ever was or could be. Pokemon is also crap, but it’s not as aggressively intolerable as those two shows, and they all exist for the sole purpose of enticing kids to buy a line of overpriced plastic toys and game cards. So at least you’ve got that to look forward to.

    • Chris said:

      Doh.. .and I thought that we could actually SAVE money after daycare was history…. I do remember those collectible card games when I was younger. I suppose if they are somewhat education (as in, they actually use strategy and play the damn game), that it would be ok. However, I’m sure it’s an arm and a leg in terms of cost. Crazy times!!

  2. We only watch Sesame Street here so far. I feel like one show, and only one episode a day (unless we are sick) is enough for a one-year-old. I know there will be a time later when he will request to watch something I will cringe at. We don’t have cable, but we use Netflix streaming and I think Yo Gabba Gabba is on there so we are not safe. I have heard it is a lot like stumbling across some bizarre Japanese channel while taking acid.

    • Chris said:

      Yah, we ditched cable too – some of the stuff is (regretfully) on DVD. Regarding the acid part, Biz took all of that ;) I know that parents have varying opinions on TV watching. I say that balance is key, so as long as they’re not glued to the tube (and the show won’t taint them for life), then it’s all good :)

  3. Chris said:

    Haha! No worries. My son asks for the ‘Blues Clues with the orange shirt’, which means it’s Joe. But I agree; Steve was better.

    … AAAHHH HOLY CRAP I HAVE AN OPINION TOO!!!

    Good call on the Disney stuff. If my wife is reading this comment, let’s work on that this weekend! Funny you mention the Ting Ting’s .. I actually like The Aquabats ‘Pool Party’ song; pretty catchy!

  4. Oh. My. God. I am so glad my boys aren’t in to Yo Gabba Gabba anymore! Some of the music acts they get are cool…The Ting Tings singing happy birthday to Brobee is pretty good, but that’s because I’m a Ting Ting’s fan…

    We’ve moved on to Disney and I don’t despise those nearly as much as the Nick Jr stuff…other than Yo Gabba Gabba, the only other one that really gets on my nerves is any Blue’s Clues episode with Joe. Joe is NOT as good as Steve…and I think what bothers me the most is that I have an opinion on which one is better…

%d bloggers like this: