When I was a kid, Sesame Street was the show du jour. There were large and small stuffed animals, cartoons, and all sorts of sketchy characters teaching us letters and numbers. Of course, as the years marched on (and Sesame Street was renamed Avenue Q), shows devolved into the meaningless slop that we have today.
Enter Yo Gabba Gabba…
Yo Gabba Gabba is hosted by a character named DJ Lance. The first time that I saw DJ Lance, I honestly thought they kicked Barack Obama out of office, and this was his next gig. The introduction has DJ Lance carrying a boom box (what else?) which contains five dolls that ‘come to life’:
Muno – Muno is the red character with the giant eye and eczema. There was an episode where they were talking about differences, and Muno needed glasses.I laughed my ass off when Plex (the robot character) came out with a ‘glass’ for muno. Evidently, that giant f’in eye couldn’t do the job on its own.
Foofa – Foofa is the hippie of the bunch. She’s the pink, pear-shaped broad that really doesn’t care about anything except for growing flowers and being soft-spoken. You could probably trample her garden, and she wouldn’t give a crap.
Toodee – Toodee is a tomboy. Personally, I think she has a thing for Foofa, kind of like a Bert and Ernie situation.
Brobee – Brobee is a short, green monster with three orange horns and an eastern european accent. His arms tend to bend and contort in ways that will leave your child asking all sorts of questions about anatomy and physics (I suppose that’s good, right?). He’s pretty much the outcast of the group.
Plex – Plex is the yellow robot that you want to douse in water and watch him rust. He’s a smart ass and a showoff, as he can beam characters in and out of Gabbaland with his mobile Wi-Fi hotspot on the top of his tin head. He’s even got a Bose system build into his chest. Wait.. maybe Plex is cool…
Anyhow, the coup de grace of today’s children’s television genre came at the moment that they invited Biz Markie to do a segment on each episode called Biz’s Beat of the Day. ..
How the hell am I supposed to explain to my child what is happening on the television screen when Biz’s Beat of the Day comes on? I suppose I could tie it into some sort of ‘Don’t Do Drugs!’ message. Or, perhaps I could put a medical spin on it:
“Son, this is what it looks like when you are having a stroke. Strokes occur when .. blah blah, etc. etc.”
Comment Time: What children’s TV show do you absolutely despise and why?